Sunday, December 04, 2005
Another Generation of Men Without Chests
There is an excellent essay by Michael Gurian in the Washington Post about the failure of boys in school. He makes a good argument for the idea that our education system is badly designed for boys. And his major reference point for this is that once women were given equal education rights as men, they promptly surpassed men in academic achievement. The article is well worth reading.
Gurian doesn't describe a one-dimensional problem, and give us his one-dimensional utopian solution. He is looking at one specific and major problem with boys, and is trying to solve it. He acknowledges the context in which the problem exists.
Lack of fathering and male role models take a heavy toll on boys, as does lack of attachment to many family members (whether grandparents, extended families, moms or dads).
This line hits the nail on the head. Boys do not grow up and become men, they become barbarians. To raise a man, the boy needs to be guided by a role model. Many of our social problems develop from the failure to raise men. But, why are we failing? There are a lot of very good theories: Single Mothers, Deadbeat Dads, broken educational system, etc. Allow me to give you my theory: responsibility is dead.
A boy can knock up a girl, and it is almost socially acceptable for him to let her raise the child on her own. We admirably have taught boys to regard girls as equals, and we have forgotten to teach boys that there is still a difference between the sexes. And that the girls deserve to be treated with respect, treated as women. We let go of the idea of the man as the breadwinner. That women have the right to get an education and a job is a great thing. But we have allowed it to undermine the growth of boys. The responsibility inherent in being the breadwinner forced seriousness on a young man. You want the girl? Then go to school, get a job, and be ready to support her and the children. That antediluvian thought process is gone from our world.
In short: I don't know what the solution is. Women deserve every chance to live the way they wish, as corporate titans or as homemakers. However, this has created generations of men without chests. We have to find a new way to teach the barbarians in the old ways of being a man.
Gurian doesn't describe a one-dimensional problem, and give us his one-dimensional utopian solution. He is looking at one specific and major problem with boys, and is trying to solve it. He acknowledges the context in which the problem exists.
Lack of fathering and male role models take a heavy toll on boys, as does lack of attachment to many family members (whether grandparents, extended families, moms or dads).
This line hits the nail on the head. Boys do not grow up and become men, they become barbarians. To raise a man, the boy needs to be guided by a role model. Many of our social problems develop from the failure to raise men. But, why are we failing? There are a lot of very good theories: Single Mothers, Deadbeat Dads, broken educational system, etc. Allow me to give you my theory: responsibility is dead.
A boy can knock up a girl, and it is almost socially acceptable for him to let her raise the child on her own. We admirably have taught boys to regard girls as equals, and we have forgotten to teach boys that there is still a difference between the sexes. And that the girls deserve to be treated with respect, treated as women. We let go of the idea of the man as the breadwinner. That women have the right to get an education and a job is a great thing. But we have allowed it to undermine the growth of boys. The responsibility inherent in being the breadwinner forced seriousness on a young man. You want the girl? Then go to school, get a job, and be ready to support her and the children. That antediluvian thought process is gone from our world.
In short: I don't know what the solution is. Women deserve every chance to live the way they wish, as corporate titans or as homemakers. However, this has created generations of men without chests. We have to find a new way to teach the barbarians in the old ways of being a man.
